Choosing a career can feel overwhelming for today’s teens and parents. What if they choose wrong? What if they cannot  get a job? What if they are unhappy for the rest of their lives because of this one little decision?

It is important to remember that career clarity is a process, not a one-time decision, and that helping your teen choose a career doesn’t mean they have to stick with that decision for their entire lives. After all, you may not be doing the same thing you majored in during college — you may be doing something completely different, and that is okay! 

Many parents also feel daunted about helping their kids choose a career for any number of reasons, including the fact that they do not have direct experience in the fields their child is interested in. Here is how to help your child choose a career — without pressure or panic involved (key words here!).

Why Career Choice Feels So Hard for Teens Today

The world may seem just a touch too large, with too many options, which manifests itself in career confusion in teens. After all, they are just teenagers, with not enough real-life exposure. In addition to those challenges, there is a lot of social media comparison and the pressure to choose a major too early. Furthermore, students may confidently decide, “I want to become a cardiologist” with zero idea of what that actually means in terms of number of years in school and in real life.

In short, not being flexible going into college can be challenging because students have so little life experience. You may be better off honing in on areas of study, such as science, math, English, education, etc. — especially if your teen has no idea what they want to do.

When Should Your Child Start Thinking About a Career?

The career planning timeline looks different for everyone, but it may seem to come up organically in regular conversations with your child. For example, a visit to the orthodontist may prompt your student to declare, “I will never become a dentist or orthodontist — ever!” (And then you will know that particular career path isn’t meant for them!)

It is not unheard of to start thinking about career possibilities in middle school, but many students will start thinking about careers more closely in high school, particularly when they take classes that align with their interests. For example, dissecting a fetal pig in biology class may encourage your child’s interest in medicine, while debating in a mock trial may spark their interest in law.

However, it is completely normal for them to not have it all ironed out at any stage — they do not have to have it “all figured out.” If they are struggling to narrow career areas, our experts at Campus to Career Crossroads can help point them in the right direction. Let our expertise guide you on how to help your child choose a career.

How to Help Your Child Choose a Career 

Let’s walk through your guide on how to choose a career. Some tips might surprise you!

Tip 1: Discuss Strengths, not Job Titles

When you first begin having this conversation, you might be tempted to focus on what you know: job titles, career paths, but focus on what your child is good at. What skills, interests, personality traits, etc. stand out to you? What do they enjoy and what are they good at? What activities energize them? What activities drain them? For example, a list might look like the following: 

• Skills: Dance, piano, Spanish
• Interests: Computer programming
• Personality traits: Extroverted, but enjoys reading and alone time

Writing down all of their strengths can help you identify your child’s strengths and weaknesses and thoughtfully consider what they might enjoy doing in the future, including entry-level jobs.

Tip 2: Separate Their Dreams From Your Expectations

Often, parents project their own expectations onto their children, and it is imperative that you avoid projecting your own regrets or goals onto them. For example, even if you have always wanted a doctor in the family, it is important not to pressure your child into majoring in pre-medicine — pressure like this can completely backfire. You would feel terrible if your child went into medicine at your suggestion and later hated their career, wouldn’t you? 

It is a good idea to be a guide, not a director. Ask a lot of open-ended questions, guide conversations, and try to be open-minded even if your teen suggests something completely different from your original expectations.

Tip 3: Expose Them to Real Careers (Not Just Online Research)

Job shadowing in high school offers a great opportunity to look into career exploration for students. It can help them realize quickly that they do not want to go into a certain career, or it can help them identify which careers make sense for them. If job shadowing is not a possibility, you can also set up informational interviews for them, which can help them determine whether a particular career might make sense. 

They can also get summer jobs or internships or even volunteer to learn more about particular career areas. Try connecting them with trusted, accomplished adults in the field(s) they are considering. Later, while in college, they can also attend career fairs to learn more about their options and job search possibilities.

Learn more: What to Do as a Brand-New Intern and How to Get an Internship in High School

Tip 4: Connect Career Exploration to Education Choices

Choosing a major connects directly to career and college planning, and students do not always understand the connection. It is a good idea to walk through how certain majors can result in a wide variety of possibilities, while others typically end in one result out of college. For example, a communication major means individuals can go into a wide variety of fields, while an education major typically means you will likely teach (though not always). 

Getting clear about your career affects your child’s choice of major, and unclear goals often lead to wasted credits and college debt. Consider helping your child choose a school that offers several majors and careers that would make their student happy.  

Tip 5: Let Them Know it is Ultimately Up to Them

It is ultimately up to your child, their work ethic, and their drive to pursue their interests, and it is important to let them know that. If they seem unwilling to put in four years of hard work to achieve what they think they might want, then it is a good idea to consider going back to the drawing board. Often, students are not as honest as they could be with themselves about their level of desired work ethic and/or willingness to accomplish certain things. It’s a great idea to have open communication about the level of work involved. 

Tip 6: Have Them Take an Assessment

Some students just do not know what they are good at. They may have no idea they are great at emotional intelligence or a fantastic budding leader. Therefore, it is vital to take a career counseling assessment to qualify and quantify their amazing, unique individual attributes. You can check with your child’s school counselor or college and career counselor to find out whether or not they offer a career assessment — many do. These assessments will guide your students through measurements that identify their interests, activities, likes, dislikes, which will also reveal career-related alignment and workplace preferences.

Tip 7: Discuss Money

We have been taught that “money doesn’t matter” when considering career choice, but that is a load of baloney — it does. It is important to help your child understand the differences in salary between a child care social worker and a mechanical engineer and choose a career that makes sense for their values and needs.

Furthermore, it is a good idea to talk about the cost of college with them, particularly if they plan to take out student loans. Some students also will not graduate within a traditional four-year timeline, costing more money over time. (For example, many engineering majors typically don’t graduate within four years.) 

Tip 8: Encourage Your Child to Gain Work Experience

More than just job shadowing, gaining work experience can help your child gain a toehold in a real work environment, even if they are just working at Subway. It will help them understand the basics of management, reporting, and how certain roles work. It will also help them understand whether they like: 

• Working on a team or independently
• Being told to do specific tasks or if they prefer creativity
• Being self-motivated or motivated by others
• Other factors about various work environments

They will also learn about how to fill out employment applications, how to improve a LinkedIn profile, create a resume, complete job interviews, incorporate personal branding, even write professional post-interview thank you notes, and develop soft skills like working with others and time management.

Questions to Ask Your Child About Their Future Career

In many cases, teens are not the best conversationalists about hard topics, especially with their parents, so start with open-ended questions to get them talking. Here are a list of open-ended questions you can ask your teen:

• What problems do you like solving?
• What classes or activities feel easy/hard?
• What would you hate doing after entering the workforce?
• What kind of life do you want outside of work?
• What is your favorite aspect of [insert class name]?
• What topics do you find yourself wanting to learn more about, even when no one assigns them?
• What activities make you lose track of time?
• What school projects have you enjoyed most, and why?
• What do people often ask you for help with?
• What skills are you most proud of developing so far?
• What kind of impact would you like your work to have on others?
• When do you feel most useful or needed?
• What issues or causes do you care about, even a little?
• Do you prefer working with people, ideas, data, or things — or a mix?
• Do you like working independently, collaborating, or leading?
• What kind of environment helps you do your best work?

Again, it is not likely you will get a lot of information out of your teen just by asking these questions rapid-fire, but sprinkle them throughout conversations with your teen. 

Common Mistakes Parents Make When Helping Kids Choose a Career

You are likely already aware of some common mistakes parents make when helping their kids choose a career, and that includes intermingling your opinions with their goals. It is also easy to fall prey to the idea that your child should only have a “safe” career only, such as in the sciences, in business, or any other career area you perceive as “safe.” 

It is also important to distance yourself from equating income with success and ignoring alternative paths. Looking up the “highest-paying jobs” on Google and selecting your child’s future career from that list is not the best way to guide them — you already know that! 

Finally, do not ignore alternative paths. Sometimes a gap year really is the best option for students.

What if My Child Has No Idea What They Want to Do?

This is normal, and you may know that from personal experience. Whatever you do, do not panic. As long as you identify areas of study your child likes, such as the sciences, and put together their college list based on that information, you’re headed in the right direction. They do not — I repeat — do not have to have it all figured out when they are 17 or 18 years old. I run into professionals in their forties who still are not sure what they want to do!

Learn more: Is it Better to Apply on LinkedIn or Company Websites?

How Parents Can Support Career Decisions Without Taking Over

Parents can support teens by listening instead of lecturing, encouraging without pressure, and giving them permission to explore. One of the most extreme traits in our culture is parents pushing their children into a certain path that they think is best for them (not just career paths). It is important to listen, understand, and encourage, not push, especially if your child’s telling you for the third time, “Mom, I do not want to be an engineer! Drop it!” (You know who you are!)

I am saying all this with a gentle laugh, trust me. (I know I will have to bite my tongue when my own kids begin their career explorations.)

You Can Help Your Child Choose a Career with the Right Help

Career choice is a journey, not a single decision, and that is one of the most important things to understand about helping your child choose a career. It is also worth noting that we are preparing kids for a world we will not even recognize in thirty years, particularly with technological advancement. 

But it is important to recognize that you as a parent will play a powerful role of guiding your child, not dictating what they do. With the right support, kids gain confidence and clarity, and we can help you do that too. 

With our career assessments and years of expertise, let Campus to Career Crossroads help guide your child through the exciting step of making career and major decisions.

FAQs

Still have questions about how to help your child choose a career path? Read through the FAQs below.

Should parents influence their child’s career choice?

Parents can play a definite role in helping their child by listening, offering suggestions where needed, and answering questions (or at least, actively pursue answers to questions if they do not know). However, it is important to take on a quieter role in the overall choice — kids who feel they have agency over their choices typically do better in college and in their careers.

What is the best age to select a career?

There’s no “right” age to select a career, but it is vital that students understand various careers. If they choose entrepreneurship without really understanding what they are getting themselves into, their excitement for that particular major and career path might fizzle out. That is why it is a great idea to connect them with professionals in the field. 

How do children choose their career?

There is no one “right” way to help your child choose a career. They might do research through My Next Move, talk to as many people as they can, and complete job shadowing through school. They also might want to wait till they get to college to figure it all out — and that is okay, too, as long as you do not have a transfer situation on your hands, which can involve its own challenges.